It Happened….
The first set of tears finally came and they won't stop….
It all started Sunday night as I walked into a surprise
going away party for me at Galveston Urban Ministries. As I took the blindfold
off, I realized that people from all different areas of my life surrounded me.
They were there for me! They came to support me, love on me, encourage me, lift
me up in prayer, and send me off with the truth of how God had used me and how
he will continue to do so.
As this truth sunk in I began to cry.
Five hours earlier I was struggling. I didn’t know if I had
even made a difference in one person’s life while being here in Galveston. It
was as if I had been blinded by all the doubts and insecurities that hid in the
shadows of my heart. I doubted that I could have made a difference these past
couple years and wondered if there was a purpose to it all.
It was as if I was in slow motion as I scanned the extremely
full room of smiling faces! And as the tears filled my eyes, the Lord sweetly
whispered in my ear “I love you and you have loved well!”
It’s not that I need people’s praise or reassurance to
measure my worth, I don’t. My worth is found securely in my redeemer! But by being
obedient in following God’s plan, I was able to see a glimpse of how it can
bring Glory to his name. And with that, I am reminded that He is good and
intends good.
It is encouragement to a weary soul.
As the week has gone by I have said one goodbye after the
other thinking it would get easier with each one. My mind flashes through the
past 4 years of memories with each person and with it comes tears of joy and
tears of a final goodbye. The hardest part is when they don’t understand why I
am leaving and ask if I will just stay as tears fill their eyes. I speak one
final truth to them, reminding them that God loves them so incredibly much and
that just because I am leaving it doesn’t mean that I will forget them or stop
loving them.
I will be leaving a trail of tears as I drive away from
Galveston.
May they roll down my cheeks and soften the ground that I
once pulled weeds in, so that the next person may plant seeds. I pray that they
are not released in vain and that they will serve a purpose of preparing long
lasting friendships that will sprout up from hard conversations and break
throughs.
As much as I don’t want to share those so dear to my heart,
I pray that they may be filled with God’s love and surrounded by people who can
hug and hold them so tight that they will never feel my absence.
As we hold our plans open handed, lifted up to God, let us
thank Him for His favor in letting us be a part of his beautiful story that is unfolding
in the lives of those around us. May we be willing and continue to invest wherever
He calls us and trust him when he says its time to leave, even when it seems
unbearable.
There is beauty in tears caused by love, there is beauty in
caring so deeply that it causes your bones to ache, and there is beauty in
being broken in just the right place.
May He be glorified in this heart that has been broken!
