Walking With Unexpected Expectations

I knew when I left TTH the first time that God was calling me to Galveston and I WASN’T EXCITED. For the longest time Galveston represented bondage, broken relationships, and a lost identity. I wasn’t ready to face it again and fear of losing my identity once more made my heart heavy. God revealed to me that my story was like the Israelites leaving Egypt. They were brought out of bondage and were no longer called to live as slaves but as children of God. The shackles were off and they were called to walk in that freedom. I am awe struck looking back and seeing how he took all the broken pieces in my life and made something beautiful from them. I'm positive that God placed me in Galveston as a season of preparation. Everything that I learned while working at Galveston Urban Ministries overlaps and is being implemented in the work that I am doing here. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to learn from.


When I arrived at Ten Thousand Homes, the ministry was on a two week break because it was school holiday. It gave me a chance to get over jetlag, start building relationships with the group of people I will be living with for the next year and be approved to drive on my own. Class started up and we laid everything out on the table. We shared what we were excited about and the expectations we had for what this next year would look like. I don’t think I was ready for what God was planning.


It's taken me weeks to write this blog because I haven't been able to sort through the sea of emotions that seem to change with the tides of the day. Everything felt normal, as if I had never left and yet everything seemed completely foreign to what I had known before. As the days continued, it became more apparent that I had brought unexpected expectations with me and God was about to shatter them in order to create something new in me.

 

God came in and wrecked shop…in a good way!

 

Alone time doesn’t actually exist in the same way it does in the states. Being an introvert, I have had to learn that quality alone time is more important that quantity.

There is no time frame on how fast God will start to use you, even if you don’t think you are ready.

The level of surrendering is uncomfortable and yet there is freedom in it.

Understanding and being understood takes a lot longer when there are cross culture differences in the community and even on base.

Most importantly, my definition of the built in family waiting for me was too small compared to what God designed.

He creates family out of unexpected people. I am blessed with a whole base full of people who have come together for the same reason and we are called to represent His family in the way we live in community.

 

 "God settles the solitary in a home" (Psalm 68:6a)

 

I feel like I'm about to be bungee jumping. My heart is anxious, excited, and yet terrified as I stand on the edge, looking down into the depths of what he is calling me to. He is pressing in on me to lean forward and let go of all things that are holding me back from the edge, that I may free fall into the great unknown with Him as my only anchor and security.

Through The Eyes Of His Children

On Mondays TTH sends a team out to serve alongside Bukiwe, a local woman who saw the need to care for the AIDS orphans in her community. As we pulled into the gate, the need was immediately apparent. Kids rushed the car to be embraced with affection and some clung to us in eager desperation to be noticed. The faces are the same after two years... just a little older with stories untold. I don't know their stories and I am not sure I ever will, but the one thing I am sure of is that He is revealing His Kingdom Come through their eyes.

 

 

 

Meet the faces of Clau Clau, South Africa

Look in their eyes and tell me, what do you see?

 

 

 



 

 

 

(All Photos Credited to Laura Uechi)

 

 



The Long Awaited Arrival And The Baggage It Came With

As I loaded the plane, people from all over the world filed in and loaded their bags above their seats. I of course followed suit placing my GIANT bag (full of books that I couldn’t part with) into the overhead compartment along with the extra baggage I didn’t realize I was carrying.  The baggage of doubt, questions, and insecurities did not out weigh my bag full of books, excitement, and anticipation but were heavy enough that they weighed on my heart.

I began to open encouraging letters from friends and family that I had left behind. They were full of prayers, words of truth, and stories of this beautiful person that I didn’t see myself to be. I think it is something we all struggle with, it's hard looking past our flaws to see ourselves as more than someone rough around the edges. Our identity and worth is found in Christ, but sometimes the world is so loud that it drowns out God's tender whispers of truth.

Over the past three months I have felt like a child in a growth spurt with all the aches and pains that come with changes. God has been so gentle and sweet as he has shown me His mercy. I was obedient in the leap of faith that He was calling me to and now I am trying to catch up to it. No matter how many stumbling blocks God cast aside by His faithful provisions, satan still looks for that chink in the armor to plant the arrow of insecurity. I have doubted if I would be able to do this, if I would be able to bring anything to the table and have wondered if I would find my place once I was there...  

 

After 15 hours on a plane I finally arrived in Johannesburg and as I stepped off the plane I couldnt help but smile at the realization that I was finally home. Kacy greeted me with a giant container of water and of course a banana. She then proceeded to tell me that we were going to a party! We stayed in Joberg with her friends, Marion and Rob, who just so happened to be in charge of the Lion's Club. So, with only a few hours of sleep and the smell of airplane on me, we joined the group to play South Africa Trivia. Needless to say, our team ended up winning second place without our help!

It wasn’t until the next day during the 4 hours car ride to White River that I was able to look at the baggage of lies through a God lens. I shared with Kacy without her realizing it and she reminded me that we are all one family. God's family. And in God's family I will never have to worry about finding my place because it was already found. All I was required to do was be who he created me to be and let him move through me.

God reminded me that it is all very simple. I am to be obedient in my faithfulness every step of every day. He will take care of the rest. He is the one who calls, equips, is enough, and he will go before me and also be my rear guard.

We pulled onto the dirt road and were welcomed home by the entire TTH staff. As they carried my belongings into the house, I realized there was a little less baggage than before.

Now, as I sit here dreaming with God about this next year,

 I feel that he is speaking the word CHANGE over me.

 

"I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently. Only the good stories have the characters different at the end than they were at the beginning.” -Donald Miller

 

So I have three dreams of change and a disclaimer for you as I start this season of my life!

 

Disclaimer: Not knowing

"And, I when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God." - 1 Corinthians 2:1-5

 

Dream One: Believing that the Spirit will speak through me

"But, as it is written, What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him- these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God… Now we have received not the spirit of this world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given to us by God. And we impart this in words not taught  by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual." 1 Corinthians 2:10, 12-13

 

Dream Two: To be faithfully devoted

"And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit…I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraints upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:34a, 35

 

Dream Three: Willing to walk out His calling to the new covenant

"Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the spirit. For the letter kills, but the spirit gives life…Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end…Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where there Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled faces, beholding the glory of God, are being transformed into the same image from one degree to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:4-6, 12-13, 17-18

Each day I pray that I may have faith like Abraham.

 

"No unbelief made him waiver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he has promised. That is why his faith was counted to him as righteousness." -Romans 4:20-22